There you are
by lylstephymcmahon
Summary: Cate is devesated when Ryan decides to leave her for Julia. Cate turns to Baze and an uexpected love forms. Much better then the summary.! please Read and review let me know what y'all think. I don't own any of these characters!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"We have to talk" I stared blankly at my husband Ryan. I entered the bar almost like a zombie. My feelings were jumbled I was confused, and scared about what I just had found out. This would surely change things. "what's wrong Cate" Ryan approached me, his arms open attempting to wrap me into them. I stopped him. "privately" I added, my left hand pulled the bar door back open, I stepped outside into the brisk winter air. "what is going on?" he joined me outside not bothering to put his jacket on. I noticed how he rubbed his arms in an attempt to provide warmth to his body. I hadn't even said anything and tears were already forming in my eyes. "I saw Julia today" I hesitated it was hard to get this out, what if he already knew that she was carrying his baby, maybe he chose Lux and I over her and her baby, but no he would never do that, that's all Ryan wanted was a child of his own. "and, what did she say? Where did you see her?" he just continued to spit questions out at me. "she's pregnant" I chewed on my lip waiting for him to react some how. I wanted him to say he knew, or that it didn't matter that he loved me, but we both know the only thing that was holding our marriage together was now gone, our baby. "she's what? She told me she wasn't, this doesn't make any sense, I have to go talk to her" he vanished into Baze's bar, emerging with his jacket and keys seconds later. "Ryan, wait" I reached for his arm but it was to late he was gone.

Inside the bar everyone was quiet. Had they heard us talking? "what is everyone looking at?" I sat down on the stool in the freshly painted bar, it was almost ready to be opened again. "nothing, do you want a drink" Baze didn't wait for me to answer he handed me a glass of wine, my favorite as much as I hate to admit it he knew me pretty well. "Cate what happened?" Lux pulled up a stool next to me. I just shook my head "I don't want to talk about it right now" I finished my glass of wine and stood back up. "I'm pretty tired I think I'm just going to go home" I rubbed my red puffy eyes, it was obvious to everyone that I had been crying. "why don't you just stay here tonight? I mean I'll take the couch and you can stay in my room" Baze stood before me. I wanted to smile but I just felt so numb. Yes my marriage to Ryan wasn't perfect but I did love him, and all of that was going to end all because I can't get pregnant, I'm broken on the inside, who wants something broken?

"yeah Cate stay here tonight, I was going to spend the night here anyway, we could stay up watching movies like a real family" Lux knew how to sucker me into doing things I really didn't want to do. She smiled waiting for me to respond to their suggestion. "okay, okay I'll stay tonight" she clapped excitedly like a child would. Together the three of us climbed the stairs that led to the loft. "so what movie do we feel like watching tonight?" Baze approached his tower of DVD's he had quite the collection. "Lux can pick" I leaned my head back against the sofa, I couldn't get my mind off of Ryan, right now he was probably with Julia, talking about how they were going to be a family, how he wanted to be a family. Baze popped in a movie, a gory horror one that I usually hated, but I was just thankful it wasn't a sappy love story. Lux sat in between us on the couch but that didn't last long. She yawned walking towards her makeshift bed room. "good night" she called to us with a smile. "night kiddo" Baze replied, I remained silent.

I pulled my phone from my pocket praying there was a text from Ryan but my screen was blank. "so want to tell me what's going on? Where did Ryan rush off to?" Baze wasn't going to let this alone. "he went to Julia's" I closed my eyes tightly hoping I could hold the tears in. "his ex Julia? Why would he be going there?" Baze wasn't the brightest and now was not a time for me to want to explain everything to him. "she's pregnant and he's the father, he's getting what he always wanted, what I cant give him because I'm broken" I was full blown crying at that point. "shh that's not true, your not broken" he wrapped his arms around me, I cried on his shoulder until my eyes felt dry. I couldn't cry anymore. His strong hands rustled through my hair as he consoled me. I knew he was just saying that to be nice because well, I Cate Cassidy was useless, I was like an old broken toy nobody could fix. I pulled myself out of Baze's arms and stared at my phone again, still nothing. Baze grabbed it "enough of this, just don't think about it right now. I know it's hard but you don't need to stress yourself out, if Ryan can't see what he's letting go, it's his loss Cate" I watched as he turned my phone off placing it on the table next to him. I wanted to yell at him but I just didn't have the strength to say anything. I just nodded moving closer I leaned my head against his chest. His arms wrapped around me, holding me tight, it was a weird I felt a sense of safeness right then, it almost felt like everything would be alright.

"I'm going to go into the bedroom and try to sleep, thanks for letting me stay here, I really needed this" I placed my lips against his gently. I wasn't trying to start anything between us I was simply saying thank you. He was here for me when I needed someone, not Ryan, where was he, with another woman. "it's really not a problem, anytime" even in the dark I could see his smile, it took up his entire face, maybe he needed me right now to. At that moment I remembered he had just ended things with Emma. "this couch isn't really comfortable" I commented waiting to see if he would catch on. "I know, that's why I'm giving you my bed tonight" I nodded walking over towards the door way. "you know you could always come stay in the bed with me. I mean its big enough and it's not like we.. " I stopped myself. "yeah your right its not like this would be the first time" he chuckled as he joined me in his room. It felt a little strange being here, I was still married to Ryan but he made it obvious that I wasn't what he wanted when he raced away to talk to Julia.

I stared up at the black ceiling. Baze was already snoring next to me. It didn't take him long, while I was changing into one of his long shirts he had passed out on the bed. This wasn't exactly what I expected when I invited him to sleep in here with me. I wanted him to kiss me, I wanted him to make me forget about Ryan and to make my heart stop hurting. After laying there for hours I got up for a drink, grabbing my phone in the process I tip toed out of the room careful not to make any noise. I turned it back on and waited patiently for the screen to load. Still nothing, not a missed call, not a voicemail, not even a lousy text message. Had Ryan forgotten me already? I dialed his number, holding my breath as it rang, once… twice.. And finally he picked up. He sounded like he was sleeping. "Cate, where are you?" he yawned only making it more obvious that even sleep was more important then I. "I'm still at Baze's where are you?" I answered in a whisper not wanting to wake Lux or Baze up. "I'm home, we need to talk but it can wait till morning. I'll see you for breakfast." those words haunted me, they were the same words I had used earlier that night when I entered the bar, but I knew they held a different meaning coming from Ryan. "I could just come home now and we can talk now" I felt like crying, my whole world was caving in on me, all because I couldn't have kids. "Cate, it's.." he hesitated "three AM just get some sleep I'll see you tomorrow" he hung up the phone before I could even argue anymore, or tell him I couldn't sleep, that I didn't want to sleep that I just wanted to know what he was going to do. In my heart I knew what he had chosen already but my mind kept telling me that maybe I was wrong.

Stumbling through the dark I stubbed my toe as I made my way back to Baze's room. "ouch" I shouted a little louder then I intended. "what happened" he mumbled sitting up as I sat down on the bed holding my left foot. "I stubbed my toe, nothing major, maybe if you had some night lights in this place it wouldn't have happened" I was always criticizing him for things he did wrong, maybe I needed to stop doing that. "sorry, I'll add that to my list of things to get, are you okay?" he reached over and flicked on the lamp next to his side of the bed. "I think I'm fine, and I'm sorry I shouldn't be taking my frustrations out on you, you don't need night lights." I stopped talking and took a deep breath in trying to control my crying, it didn't help. "shh don't cry, I told you everything will be okay. Ryan's loss could be another mans gain, any guy would be lucky to have you" I felt his arms pull me against him. I cried myself to sleep with my head on his chest, I wish I believed him about what he said but it was hard to.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Morning came faster then I would have liked it to. My head was still against Baze's chest, he was still snoring and yet this was the best nights sleep I've had in a long time. I couldn't put my finger on it, something just felt right here. Gently I moved myself away from him, set my feet on the ground and left the bed room. Lux was on the sofa watching tv. "morning Cate, where is Baze?" she seemed puzzled that he wasn't on the couch where he was suppose to be sleeping. "he's in his room, we don't have to talk about this now though because I'm late for breakfast with Ryan, want to come?" there was a desperation in my voice. I wanted her to come, thinking maybe she would make him want to stay. There was no denying that Ryan loved Lux. "I think that is something you have to do alone, but how about we get some lunch later, I have a Chemistry quiz I am dying to get out of, so you could just pick me up from school at say like 12" she smiled knowing it wouldn't happen. "nice try Lux, I'll see you after school then, wake Baze up to drive you please" I grabbed my purse and fought to get my jacket on as I descended the stairs and exited the bar.

The ride from Baze's to my house felt extra long this morning. Maybe it was just because I was dreading what Ryan had to talk to me about. I unlocked the door and called out "Ryan I'm home" stepping inside and closing the door behind me I realized the water was running, he must have been in the shower. I tossed my purse aside, kicked my heels off and made myself comfortable on the chair, I was still wearing Baze's shirt, I sure hoped Ryan wouldn't get mad or notice for that matter.

He emerged from the bed room seconds after I heard the water turn off. Rubbing a towel over his wet hair he stopped in front of me. "your home, and wearing Baze's shirt, I see you didn't waste anytime jumping into bed with him did you?" he was seriously going to pick a fight with me now, I didn't need this right now. I had just lost my baby.. Our baby and all he could do is fight with me. "Ryan it's not what you think.. And what about you? Not even saying good bye to me, rushing off to talk to Julia the second you heard she was giving you all you wanted?" I fought back against him. I wasn't going to let him make me the bad guy here. I wasn't the bad guy. "let's not fight right now, look I have no idea why Julia lied to me but I really wish she wouldn't have. She is going to have our son in a month and I really think it would be best if I'm with her you know. That little guy deserves it." I was speechless, I had expected this but I still couldn't form words to describe how I felt about it. "I know you probably think I'm a jerk, Cate I do love you, I'll always love you, I mean I'll be here for Lux still whatever she needs I'm here, but I can't live with myself knowing that I didn't give my son the chance to have a real family" he continued to ramble on about his reasons, maybe he was trying to convince himself he wasn't wrong. I sure thought he was wrong.

What about me? What about those vows we exchanged didn't they mean anything? And what would he have done if I was still carrying our baby? Those questions clouded my mind, his words sounded distant almost like he wasn't speaking to me. "Cate.. Say something please" Ryan begged me to answer him. I swallowed hard before getting out "just leave" I covered my face with my hands to hide the fact that I was crying. "let's not end things like this please, we still have the show to do, and I really think we can be friends if we work on it" Ryan removed my hands, lifting my face so we were eye level. "friends.. You.. Please just give me some space right now" I pulled away standing up, I grabbed my keys off the table and left him alone in my living room.

I was in my car on my way back to Baze's when it hit me, I had to be in work. There was a show to do and as much as I didn't want to look at Ryan's face right now I had to be professional. I stopped back at the house and changed quickly. My head hurt, my hair was a mess, I was still wearing yesterdays make up but I didn't care. He seemed shocked when I showed up at the station. "w..what are you doing here?" he asked as I took my seat across from him. "working, what does it look like" I held myself together. There was no way I was going to cry right now.

"So Ryan what exciting news do we have for listeners today?" I sounded professional, almost happy like I should sound.

"well everyone I'm going to be a dad" I couldn't believe he had decided to air this on the radio. "and guess what I'm not the one pregnant so you can guess what that means, me and Ryan are getting a divorce" I sounded bitter, my entire mood was ruined in those two seconds it took him to flaunt to the world that I couldn't give him the child he so desperately wanted. "Cate you make it sound like it's a bad thing, I mean where did you stay last night?" I shook my head pushing the mic away from my face. "don't even go there Ryan" I hissed. "oh that's right do you not remember, you were at Baze's, so for all of those listeners wondering how this happened, how I am having a child with another woman other then my soon to be ex wife you can ask her it's all because of Baze. "No Ryan it's not all because of Baze he has nothing to do with this, you know what I'm done" I slammed my mic into his and left the studio as fast as I could. Baze was finishing up the painting in the bar when I arrived. "I hope you weren't listening to my show this morning" he attempted to lie but I could see on his face that he had. "I'm sorry about Ryan, he doesn't know what he's talking about" I was frustrated. "it's cool, don't worry about it, since you're here why don't you help me paint" he handed me a paint brush covered with red paint. I watched as drips of paint fell onto the plastic that was covering the floor. "I just can't believe he has the nerve to try and blame this on you, it's not your fault" I shouted anger spilling from deep inside me as I splattered the dripping brush at the wall. "has anyone taught you how to paint?" Baze changed the subject. "no why?" he started to laugh "because you suck, here let me teach you" before I could react he was behind me, I could feel his body hovering over me, his hand on mine where the brush was. Slowly he guided my hand up against the wall in an almost neat line. "now is that so hard?" he released his hold on me and backed up giving me some space. "no I guess not" I smiled. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have him right now.

Lux's P.O.V

The school day drug on for me, it has ever since Eric resigned. I felt bad for Cate but I couldn't let it go that she was the half of the reason he was gone, the other half Baze. I must have walked past his old classroom a dozen times today, hoping that maybe he would be there, and we would talk, and laugh like we use to. "looking for someone?" Sam taunted me. He was always watching me, it was sorta creepy. "no I'm not looking for anyone, and I never did thank you for ruining my life so thanks" I answered sarcastically walking away from him "your welcome" he followed me to my locker. "what do you want Sam?" my shouting caused several students to turn their attention on us as they passed us in the hall. "just wanted to say bye, today will be my last day here, wanted to know if maybe you'd like to hang out with me tonight, its my last day of freedom my mom is sending me back to boarding school" he explained to me, something about him seemed different. He sounded sad. "I am suppose to help Baze finish painting the bar, and then go to the movies with Jones sorry" I finished putting my books in my locker and shut it gently.

Cate

We finished painting the last wall around lunch time. "want to go grab some food?" I asked putting my paint brush down next to his. "I think we should get cleaned up first, why don't we just order something?" I followed him up the stairs into his loft. "sounds good to me, I need to take a shower, so I'll be back in like an hour" I turned to walk back towards the steps when I felt his hand on my arm. "why don't you just take a shower here, you can wear one of my shirts again, it will save time" he added. I paused pretending I had to think about it but really I was happy he suggested it. "okay sounds good to me" a smile formed on my face. While I showered Baze ordered our lunch, pizza and French fries. I made my shower quick I didn't want to use all the hot water up like I normally did at home and I just wanted to relax with him, maybe even cuddle up with him like I did last night. Being with Baze almost made me forget Ryan, or at least helped make it hurt less. I was doing just fine until he texted me.

_Where are you? I want to talk to you!_

I wasn't sure what he could possibly have to talk to me about now.

_What is it? I'm at Baze's. helping him paint and waiting for Lux to get home from school. _

I added the part about Lux in, it wasn't really his business where I was, or why I was here. Baze emerged from the bathroom shirtless seconds later. "feel better?" I asked putting my phone back into my purse. I had decided whatever Ryan needed it could wait. "much better" he pulled a shirt over his wet hair before joining me on the couch. " everything okay? You look upset again?" he was very observant when it came to my emotions. Sighing I just shrugged my shoulders. "it's going to be tough but you know, you two just weren't meant to be, you'll find that guy who won't care if you can't have anymore kids of your own. Don't let him get to you, you're a great girl" I didn't understand why Baze was being so sweet to me, it's like he knew exactly what to say to make me smile lately. "maybe your right, but then maybe I don't need a guy, I mean I'm pretty good at being by myself" I was lying, I was terrified of being by myself now. I liked having a guy around, and honestly I'd like for that guy to be Baze.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Cate**

Our lunch arrived shortly after Baze was finished his shower. "here I got it" I pushed a twenty towards him. He shook his head "nope this one is on me, it's my house" tossing my money back at me he jogged towards the stairs. I grabbed for my phone while returning the money to my wallet. I had several texts from Ryan and one from Lux.

_I'm going to hang out with Jone's after school. I'll be home after dinner, you don't have to wait up for me either. How are you feeling anyway?_

I smiled a little I knew she hated me for scaring Eric Daniels away but it was for her own good. He wasn't good for her I mean he was seven years older then her what could he possibly get from being with a kid her age.

_Okay that is fine. I'm over at Baze's. I'll just eat with him maybe. Be careful and check in. I'm as good as I can be._

I hit send before I started looking at what Ryan had sent me.

_Cate this is important! Ignoring me isn't the way for this to end._

_I know you have your phone. Please just call me._

_I want to see you for dinner. I don't want our relationship to end badly. I still care about you._

I stopped reading after three. I knew he wouldn't give up if I didn't answer so I texted him back fast just as Baze was returning with our pizza.

_What is so important. Okay I'll meet you for dinner._

"that smells amazing" I commented as he placed the box on the table. "way better smelling then anything that comes out of your kitchen" he teased me about what a bad cook I was. "hey I'm getting better, let me show you I'll make dinner for you sometime" he made a face like he was unsure "fine I get it. You think I suck too" I left my plate on the table and returned to the couch. "Cate I was kidding" he followed me to the couch where I was sulking. I wasn't in the mood for jokes right now and I guess I can't hold that against him how is he suppose to know what my mood is like. "okay sorry, I'm just not myself. I'm more uptight then usual" I faked a laugh but he could see right through it. "with time everything will get better I mean I just got out of a relationship too" he tried to explain that he knew what I was feeling but it was different. "Baze no offense but that is a little different Ryan and I were married, we were having a baby I mean that's a little more heartbreaking then what happened with you and Emma." I gathered my purse, jacket, and shirt that I had changed out of and headed towards the door. "yeah maybe it will be best if you leave, I forgot no one can top Cate Cassidy right" Baze slammed the door after I had walked through it.

The moment I reached my car I regretted what I had just said to him. If Baze didn't talk to me then really I had no one left to talk to. I had decided after my dinner with Ryan I would apologize to him, hopefully he would forgive me.

**Baze**

I felt bad about joking with Cate. I know she is having a hard time with everything and maybe she was right our situations were a little different. I put the food in the fridge. Why did I open my mouth, now our lunch is wasted and she is gone. No wonder she hates me. I decided to text Lux maybe she could talk to Cate and get her to calm down some.

_Hey Kiddo. Cate and I got into a little blow out, maybe you could talk to her. Let me know she is ok. She won't answer my calls._

A few seconds passed and Lux responded, it amazed me how fast kids text

_Sure no problem Baze. She texted me too. She said she's sorry for walking out like that. She's on her way to see Ryan now._

A part of me wanted to find out where they were meeting and be there in case she needed me. I didn't want Ryan to change his mind, I knew Cate was hurting but in time I could make her feel better. I flopped down on the couch and flipped through the channel, nothing caught my attention. The only thing on my mind was Cate.

**Cate**

I wasn't really sure where I was going. I just got in my car and drove. I wasn't suppose to meet Ryan for hours but maybe he would be at the house packing his stuff. After driving around in circles for what seemed like hours I stopped in front of my house, it use to be our house. His blue car was in the drive way so I left mine on the street. I was hesitant when entering the house, I was afraid I would break down when I saw him.

He looked up when I entered the bed room we once shared. A slight smile on his face. "hey" it sounded almost like a whisper.

"Hi, so packing I see. Where are you going to stay?" I asked even though I already knew the answer. I sat down on the edge of the bed and watched him put his things slowly into the boxes.

He swallowed hard before replying to my question "I'm going to move in with Julia, see how that goes. I uh called a lawyer today about the divorce he said he would draw up the papers and we can sign them in a few months" he stopped what he was packing and joined me on the bed. I just nodded tears were glossing my eyes I did my best to keep them in.

"wow I just can't believe this is all happening, I mean just a few days ago we were happy. Were we ever really happy?" I finally looked him in the face, he turned away maybe it hurt him to look at me.

"it's for the best you know, you can focus on your career and on Lux, and I mean you know how badly I want a kid of my own and I'm going to have that." his words hurt me, how could he say that this was for the best. What about how I felt? Didn't any of that matter now.

"so where did you go when you left the station?" Ryan changed the subject, I suspected a hint of jealousy in his voice.

It took me a few minutes to answer his question my mind was fogged, my head was starting to hurt. I needed a drink. I stood up without giving him an answer and walked into the kitchen. Opening the cabinet above the stove I pulled out a bottle of wine, twisted the cap off and took a drink.

"Cate don't resort to this please" Ryan begged me following me to the kitchen.

"I'm self soothing, and what do you care anyway. I was with Baze this afternoon. We got into a fight and now he hates me because I'm so wrapped up in my own hurt that I couldn't see that he's hurting too, and you know what it serves me right you know. I never was meant to be with anyone." I rambled on before I brought the bottle of wine to my lips again. The taste immediately relaxed me as it slid down my throat.

Ryan grabbed for the bottle but I fought him for it. It ended up flying across the room and hitting our wedding picture off the wall. "look what you did now" I shouted at him as I made my way across the room to pick up the broken bottle and picture.

Ryan knelt next to me to help but I didn't need his help. In fact I just wanted him out of my life.

"Cate I really want to be your friend, I don't want you to hate me" he grabbed for the same piece of broken glass I was and our hands touched. Once upon a time his touch was like magic to me now It just felt numb.

"okay we can be friends." I knew it was going to be hard being his friend but I really wasn't ready for Ryan to be out of my life completely. I closed my eyes as he pulled me close wrapping his arms around me. "if you ever need to talk I'll be here for you. You know that right?" I had pulled back some, his hands caressed my cheeks.

"I don't know. I'm not going to lie, you can go finish packing. I have to go take a shower" I pulled away from him completely. "we still on for dinner? I'll bring home some Chinese and maybe you can help me finish packing, we can watch a movie together or something?" I wasn't really sure why Ryan wanted to hang out with me all of a sudden. "maybe we will see, we can at least have dinner" I left him standing alone in the kitchen.

Once I was in the bathroom. I turned the hot water on full force. Once I was stripped of my clothing I stepped in, the hot water was a rush of relief to my worn down, sad body. I could have stayed in there all day but sadly after about an hour the hot water ran out.

**Lux**

The final bell rang for the day. 3:04 I was the first student out of the English class room, I use to be the last but those days are gone since Eric is no longer here. I wonder how he is doing. I rushed to my locker. I hope Jones got my text about meeting me after school I didn't feel like going home and dealing with the Ryan, Cate, Baze drama that was unfolding while I was at school.

"Lux. Over here" Jones was standing by my locker. It was kind of cheesy he had flowers. "what are these for?" I accepted them with a smile.

I put my books in my locker before we left the school together. We walked through the parking lot towards his jeep. Half way through the lot he linked his fingers with mine. "Jones we can't" I tried to pull my hand away but he held it tighter. We both stopped when we reached his jeep.

" and why not?" we were standing face to face. "Tasha, and well I'm just not ready. But I really could just use a friend right now" I lowered my eyes to the ground. I wasn't ready to get into another relationship my feelings for Eric weren't going away anytime soon. "then I can be that friend for you" he wrapped his arms around me, I leaned my head on his shoulder. I felt his lips press gently against my hair.

"so we should get going. What do you want to do tonight?" he asked helping me into his car. "maybe you can help me with my English paper, I haven't even started it and well.. Eric.. I mean Mr. Daniels was helping me but he's um.. Well you know" It hurt even talking about Eric. No one would ever understand how much he meant to me. "sure I could help. I can order some pizza for us. My parents are gone for the night, they are visiting my grandparents, so we have the house to ourselves" he winked at me. I just laughed.

"why would it matter if we had the house to ourselves?" I questioned already knowing what he had in mind. "oh it doesn't" he smiled before turning his head and focusing on the road ahead of us.

**Cate**

I managed to get dressed in some pajamas, my hair was still wet, un brushed and tangled. I entered the kitchen and pulled out another bottle of wine since Ryan broke my previous one. I grabbed a glass and headed for the sofa to watch some tv and drink the pain away. I was on my third glass of wine when Baze called.

"Hey how are you doing?" He seemed more relaxed then he was earlier.

"I'm alright, just watching some tv. Ryan is suppose to be coming over for dinner." I sighed leaning my head back against the couch.

"you know, I'm sorry about earlier. Maybe you can come over when he leaves?" Baze sounded nervous for some reason.

"I think I'm going to call it a early night. Lux said something about sleeping over at your house so just let me know when she gets there. Maybe we can get something to eat when I'm done work tomorrow" I really didn't feel like going anywhere. I was the only place I needed to be right now on a couch with a blanket and a bottle of wine.

"sure that's fine" he sounded upset or maybe disappointed.

"I'll see you tomorrow okay. I'm sorry too for how I acted. I'm not the only one hurting and I should have realized that. I'll cook you that dinner I promised you tomorrow" I laughed and he joined in.

"I'll make sure I have take out menu's ready don't you worry" he teased me again. This was what started our fight earlier. I let it go and laughed some more. I heard the door open and I fell silent.

"Cate are you there?" Baze must have said my name a few times before I snapped out of my daze.

"sorry. Ryan just got home. I have to go." I hung up the phone before he could say anything else. I set my phone on the table just as Ryan was entering the living room.

"I see you had a little bit to drink" he pointed to the empty bottle laying by my feet.

I lowered my eyes to look at it too. One bottle was nothing. He was over reacting.

"that is nothing. I mean what do you expect me to do?" I started crying. I couldn't pretend to be alright anymore because I wasn't.

**Baze**

The line went dead before I could say another word to her. She sounded so sad and I felt like it was my fault even though it wasn't. she wasn't sad over me. She was sad over Ryan. It kind of made me jealous that she would still care so much about a guy who got another girl pregnant and then left her. I would never do something like that to her.

Suddenly my mind went back to when Cate told me she was pregnant and I just walked away like it was nothing. How different would things have been if I had stood by her, maybe we would be together right now, and maybe I would have gotten to see my daughter grow up instead of missing out on sixteen years of her precious life. If I got another chance to have a child I would surely stand by that woman no matter what.

**Cate**

I grabbed our plates and put them on the table along with another bottle of wine. This was the only thing that was making me feel a little better. We ate silently. I wasn't even sure why he wanted to have dinner with me if he had nothing to say. "I'm sure Julia is wondering where you are" I broke the silence but his silence remained. "how do you be friends with someone you still love?" I spoke again. He just shrugged "you just grow out of love, or just love that person another way" he finally spoke back to me. He continued to eat, I just stared at my plate of lo mein. Usually I loved it but tonight I had no appetite.

"not hungry?" he asked an obvious question. "my stomach kind of hurts. I think I'm just going to go to sleep" I tossed my plate in trash leaving Ryan alone in the dining room. I crashed the second I reached the bed. I wasn't even tired. I just curled up against a pillow pretending it was Ryan.

I heard the foot steps when I looked up he was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"do you know how hard it is for me to leave you like this?" his hand rubbed my back gently.

"doesn't seem like it's that hard for you" I sniffled back my tears. Whenever he was around all I wanted to do was cry.

"believe me it is extremely hard. I feel so bad just walking away from you. But then I'm like torn because.."

I cut him off "because of the baby and Julia. I know" I sat up moving myself farther away from him. His touch was making me sick now. I just wanted him to leave and let me get over this my way.

"I'll let you go to sleep. Call me if you need me I'll come right back over I promise" his lips touched my forehead gently and then he was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_2 month later_

**Cate**

I had fallen into a tedious routine, drink and then sleep. I took some time off from work I couldn't be around Ryan right now. I was avoiding Baze, Lux spent most of her time at his loft because I was just no fun to be around. I didn't like to talk about anything and most of the time I just cried.

It was Saturday I decided to lay in bed all day much like the last four Saturdays that had passed.

**Lux**

"Baze I really think you need to go over there and do something. She won't listen to me. She wont even talk to me most days" I was worried about Cate. She wasn't her normal self I didn't want to see her destroy her life over Ryan. He wasn't worth it.

"okay and what would you like me to say kiddo? I try to call her but she doesn't answer" he didn't think he could help at all but I knew he could if he tried.

"maybe she just needs someone to you know comfort her please" I begged him I didn't know what else to do.

"okay I'll try but I can't promise anything. Do you need a ride to Jones today? Or do you just want to take that car right there?" I looked out the window to see which car Baze was talking about. I didn't recognize it, it was a two door red mustang.

"who's car is that Baze?" I was confused.

He smiled and handed me keys. "it's yours. You've been doing a great job in school, I'm really proud of how you've been lately" he hugged me as I squealed with excitement.

"thank you thank you thank you" I was so happy that I would finally be able to drive places without having to ask for permission to use Baze's car.

"I'll be back later. Drive safe and shoot me a text when you get to Jones alright" and with that Baze was gone to try to rescue Cate. She really needed it.

**Baze**

I knocked on her door but she didn't answer so I grabbed her spare key that was hidden under the flower pot. I shut the door gently behind me before I walked down the hall towards her room. The house was a mess, there was empty wine bottles scattered in the living room and as I made my way closer to her room I started seeing empty liquor bottles that's when I knew that she really needed to stop this before it became to deep.

"Cate" I called her name quietly. She was asleep on the bed, or maybe she was passed out from being drunk. It was so sad to see her like this it was 11 A.M and she was still in bed. I sat down beside her. I moved her tangled hair from her face.

"Cate wake up" I gave her a shake and her eyes fluttered a few times before they were wide open.

"Baze what are you doing here?" her voice was still raspy from sleep.

"I came to get you to snap out of this sweetie" I moved back a little as she sat up and leaned over the side of the bed throwing up onto her floor. It was then I realized she must have done this often from the look of the stains.

"I don't feel so well" she mumbled before laying back down.

"Cate lets get you up and get you showered okay? I'll clean up this mess while your in the shower" I helped her out of bed and towards the bathroom.

"my eyes hurt" she closed her eyes as she took a seat on the edge of the tub.

**Cate**

I couldn't even walk in a straight line and he expected me to shower myself. My head was throbbing and all I could think about was my next drink. Maybe I had a problem.

I attempted to undress myself but ended up falling, well almost falling Baze caught me. I smiled for the first time in a month. "Thank you" I whispered lifting my arms in the air for him to help me take my shirt off.

He just starred at me almost like he was afraid to take my shirt off which was odd because he had done it before. "help me please"

He nodded and did as I asked. He pulled my shirt off of me and tossed it in the over flowing hamper.

After I was stripped of my shirt and pants he turned on the water. I watched it fall into the tub and disappear down the drain. Baze turned to leave the room and I stopped him.

"stay please" I begged him with my eyes.

"I told you I'm going to clean, I'm not going anywhere. If you need help call and I'll be right in" he smiled reassuringly at me but I wasn't so sure.

"you promise" I was so afraid of him leaving me right now and I couldn't figure out why.

"promise now clean yourself up. No offense you smell" he held his nose as he left the bathroom.

I climbed into the shower and slowly washed myself, washed away my worries fears, and most important the smell of alcohol off my body. A part of me wanted Baze to shower with me, it's been so long since I've done anything like that but it was clear that he didn't want to. I kept the shower as short as possible. When I emerged from the bed room this time I was my old self. I felt a little more sober and a little happier.

"there's my girl" it came out of his mouth so naturally I really almost believed I was his girl. I sat down on his lap and laid my head against him.

"thank you. You have no idea how much I needed this" I could feel his breath on the back on my neck. My wet hair was soaking his shirt but still he wrapped his arms around me holding me tightly.

"anything for you" his lips pressed against the back of my neck.

"why did you come?"

"to help you. I missed seeing you and Lux she is really worried about you"

I sat up and looked into his eyes as he spoke to me.

"how is she. I haven't seen her all week" I sounded kind of sad again. Not over Ryan this time but because of Lux.

"she is good, I got her a car, she is out with Jones they are dating now" Baze filled me in on what I had missed while I was drunk.

"wow her own car. She must be happy with you" I felt a tinge of jealousy because he was there for Lux when I havent been.

"tomorrow the three of us should do something as a family"

I nodded with a smile "I'd love that"

I could have laid against him forever but forever always comes to an end.

"I'm going to finish cleaning sweetie you lay here and rest" he lifted me off his lap and placed me back down on the couch.

My eyes followed Baze as he cleaned up the various bottles I was grateful that he was helping me.

It took him an hour to clean up my house, it was once again looking like my home. After he threw the final bag out he came and sat next to me again. Without hesitation I climbed back into his lap. "why hello there" he smirked at me. "I just want you to hold me okay. Please" I pleaded my voice sounded like I was weak, but I wasn't weak I was stronger then all of this.

Baze made us dinner at seven. He wasn't much of a cook but you cant really screw up pasta. "dinners done" he stuck his head into the living room. I stood up and walked into the dinning room I was feeling a little better. "smells good" I complimented. "thanks" he pulled my chair out for me before taking his own seat.

"when is Lux coming home?" I asked in between bites of my food it was a lot better then anything I could make.

"she said she would be here at ten, she is going to spend the night and so am I. tomorrow morning we are going to Oaks amusement park tomorrow" he smiled brightly at me. His smile helped lift my spirits.

"who is going?" I replied washing my pasta down with the water Baze provided.

"Lux, and Jones we are going to visit Tasha on the way. So you better sleep good tonight because you are going on every rollercoaster they have with me"

I raised an eyebrow at him "I'm afraid of heights, that's not going to happen" shaking my head no.

"I'll hold your hand, you'll be fine" I knew this was a fight I was going to end up losing.

I attempted to do the dishes after we finished dinner but Baze sent me back into the living room to watch tv while he finished the dishes.

I must have flipped through the channels five times before he was finished, there was nothing good to watch. "so what do you want to do now?" it was nice having someone around I had been so lonely. "watch a movie or something maybe we could take a walk get you out of this house" his fingers ran through my hair, I had laid my head down on his lap. "that would be nice" I got up to go find my jacket and shoes.

**Baze**

Cate finally seemed like she was back to her normal self. She even agreed to take a walk. There was a full moon tonight and the weather wasn't terrible so I knew a walk by the river would be good for her. It didn't take her long to get ready and five minutes later we were outside the warmer air hitting us as we strolled along. "where do you want to walk to?" I was letting this night be about her, anything she wanted I'd try to give her.

"how about the park" she suggested I didn't expect her to reach for my hand but she did. With a real smile she looked up at me, I nodded my head to let her know I agreed the park would be great.

What should have been a great evening turned out to be horrible. As we were walking along the path near the water from the distance I could see the shadow of a couple with a baby coach walking towards us. I watched her hold her breath. I could tell she was hoping it wouldn't be Ryan.

"lets sit" she led me to the bench that was to the right of us. "good idea" we sat in silence as the couple came to a stop in front of the water. The way the moon shined down on them I could see that it was Ryan. I tried to get Cate's attention but it wasn't going to happen, she was staring at them.

"Cate, you haven't been at work I've been worried" Ryan approached the bench, I felt her hand squeeze mine tighter. "I've been sick" she lied lowering her eyes to the ground.

**Cate**

It killed me to see him with his family. A part of me wanted to go see the baby but I knew it would only make me feel worse. I wanted to scream when he approached us. It was extremely hard to look at him.

"Julia had the baby. I tried to call you to tell you but you never answered" he pointed out the obvious. "I can see that, boy or girl?" I really could have cared less but I was trying to be nice to him. "a boy, we named him Cayden" he sounded so proud and so happy. "well congrats but I really have to get going, me and Baze are going to an amusement park with Lux tomorrow and we need our sleep" I paused and looked at Baze "lets go" he didn't say anything just stood up still holding onto my hand. "well it's been nice seeing you again, when will you be coming back to work?" he moved closer to me. I wanted to run but I tried to remain calm "I'll be back Monday morning" I wasn't going to let him think he ruined my life anymore I was taking back my life.

"well give me a call sometime, we can get lunch on Monday?" he gave me a hug even though I was still holding Baze's hand. I tensed up in his arms, this once felt so right to have his arms around me now it felt wrong.

When we got back to my house I sighed sitting down on the couch. Baze sat next to me. "you okay?" he knew I wasn't but he asked anyway. "I'm fine, I'm going to be fine. It's good to see him so happy" I was lying and we both knew it but he pretended to believe me. I took my jacket off and walked towards the kitchen. "want a drink?" I turned waiting for him to answer. Instead he pulled me back towards the couch "not starting this again, sit down I'll make you some tea" he practically forced me to sit down, but I really didn't mind I needed him to take care of me.

"Lux should be home any minute" I called into the kitchen. "I know, she missed you but she just couldn't stand to see you drinking all the time" he tried explaining why she hadn't been around. "I know" I fell silent waiting for him to join me in the living room again. In a few minutes the front door opened. Lux walked in slowly like it was her first time being here. "it's good to see you" I hugged her immediately. "it's good to see you awake, and clean" she laughed squeezing back for a second before letting go and heading towards the stairs to her room. "going to bed already? You don't want to watch a movie?" I pouted I wanted her to spend time with us. "we have a long day tomorrow you should go to sleep too" she smiled continuing to walk up the stairs to the attic.

"here is your tea, she is right drink that and then you should go to sleep" he handed me the cup and I nodded. I really didn't want to go to sleep but they were right. I took a sip of the tea before setting it down on the table. Baze sat down next to me, he sounded exhausted. "so this couch is pretty much not good for sleeping on. So you want to stay in my room?" it was just a suggestion he didn't have to accept it. "sure I could do that" he sounded unsure but I hoped he wanted to.

I finished my tea and we headed into my room. "is everything okay?" I turned over so I was facing him. He seemed like he was nervous or something. "just a little tired that's all. Now go to sleep" Baze pulled the blanket up covering his bare chest. "I'm not really tired" I confessed moving closer to him. I laid my head on his chest. "well just close your eyes and try" his fingers ran through my hair and down my back gently. "goodnight" I leaned up and kissed his cheek. I wanted to kiss him but I didn't want to if he didn't want to. If he really wanted to kiss me he would have right?


End file.
